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newyear
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2021-01-17
New Year Same Year
Starting off this year I was dogsitting for a friend. 2020 was hard on me as it was for everyone else in the world but there was something peaceful about ending a year with comforting a bed hog of a dog that was scared of fireworks. Waking up the next day to feed her and go about my first day of 2021 I felt at peace, almost like perhaps this year would be drastically different for me. I'm about to graduate college, we have a new governmental administration that I hope will be more favorable to me, and COVID vaccines are on their way. Then we had an insurrection and I refused to open canvas for the first week of school because every time I tried I was gripped with terror at the thought that this would be my last semester in college meaning that I had to be a real adult soon. There is no functional difference that the exchange from 2020 to 2021 brought to my physical or emotional state. Like everyone else, I'm excited for COVID to be over but I know that the changes I need have to come from myself and won't be ushered in by a new year new me mentality. Throughout 2020 I spent time trying to reach out for help with my mental health and other things I had been struggling with. I think the thing I'm most excited about in 2021 is continuing the work I've started in a world that isn't so hard to be in. I want 2021 to be a year that I am able to spend working on myself and building into a fully functioning member of society.