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  2020-09-15

  Constant interruptions

  Developmental milestones always throw off the routine. I deleted the “Wonder Years App,” so I couldn’t look up what is happening at about 30 months that makes it unlikely a child will nap, and very likely that they will cry and cling to you over the seemingly smallest of issues. It has been weeks of no naps or naps only in the car. This means that I don’t get my normal break in the day, when the 2yo naps for 2 hours and I can let the 6yo have her media time. This was our routine; this was when I got to knock out work in peace without interruptions. That precious window has been gone for weeks. Until today, finally for the first time in what feels like for freaking ever, Julian napped in a bed at home. Did I have to lie next to him to make it happen? Yes, was I anxious that it was too good to be true and he’d wake back up any second? Also yes. The 6yo, unaware that anything was different walked in the room and started chatting. I waved her away, and she ran off, presumably delighted that her media time was a go. The dog, ever aware that food was on the stove and that her dinner should occur in about 1.5 hours pushed open the door and trotted in. She’s stuck now. No one goes in or out until this nap concludes naturally. Maybe I shouldn’t be this worked up about a nap, but the extra layer of pressure has felt much more present ever since the school year started. There are more meetings to attend, and they all seem to last more than an hour. Emails can stress me out easily if they’re filled with questions. And the 6yo needs about 2-3 hours of support in the morning with distance learning and homework. Which is fine, that’s my job, I’m supposed to help her, but it also means that an important chunk of my workday is interrupted. And it’s hard to recover or snapback from constant interruptions. I feel like it's not possible to get it all done, and then I think...not getting it doesn't feel like a choice I can make. It all feels like it's my responsibility.